all to you, I surrender

"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you." Psalm 32:8

instruction.

Are we following HIS instructions?
Are we reading our instruction manual (AKA The Bible) He provides us?
Are we allowing the world around us influence our path or are we following where the Lord is leading us?

From a young age, I have always been very independent and responsible. I was the odd kid who set my own alarm and woke up to prepare for my day before anyone in the household was awake (besides my dad who is an early riser as well). This began before I can even remember- back in elementary school sometime. I have always lived with the mentality of never wanting to "waste the day"! As soon as the sun came up, I was up and at it, even on Saturday morning sleepovers with friends.
I am still this way. Early to rise, (not so) early to bed (anymore).

Independence is not a bad thing, so don't hear me saying that...but it has cornered me in several rough patches of life in my past. Independence and control go hand-in-hand for me. That's a blog for another day, so let me get pack to my original point- INSTRUCTION.

God WILL instruct you.
God WILL teach you.
God WILL provide the correct path.
God WILL show you the way out.

But we are required to FOLLOW.
Following requires faith. Faith to let HIM lead you during an uncertain time. Faith to remove all barriers the surround your heart in order to let HIM in.

"God has a journey for your life. It looks different than anyone else's. The road he's carved our for you is yours alone. It's always the road less traveled because you're the only one who is ever going to walk it. Oh, sure, he'll give you wonderful traveling companions to go with you. But don't let that fool you: that doesn't mean their paths are the same as yours-just that they're parallel for a time. So if you've been feeling guilty that your path doesn't look like Spiritual Samantha's then breathe a deep sign of relief. Your GPS (God Positioning System) is going to get you exactly where you need to go. And he promises to be with you every step of the way"
-excerpt from "You're Already Amazing" By Holly Gerth

LET HIM INSTRUCT YOUR PATH.
LET HIM LEAD YOU.
LET HIM TAKE YOU TO YOUR NEXT STEP IN LIFE.

Start with prayer. Intentional, relational, instructional prayer to help you reach HIS path for your life.
SURRENDER TODAY. SURRENDER NOW.

surrendering control and allowing God to lead,
reagan

perfect love.

"Perfect love drives out fear" 1 John 4:18

I started reading my next book this week: "You're Already Amazing" by Holley Gerth. Holley writes around the dare that we "don't have to do more, be more, have more" in life.

Reading this morning, Holley talks on the difference between growth and perfectionism. She writes, "We've been made perfect-check-but we're still in the process of being made holy. God's goal in our lives is growth."

"Perfect love casts out fear (1 John 4:18)
        I don't have to be perfect.
        I only need to be perfectly loved.
        And I am.
            So are you.
        (page 47)

A dear friend's name entered my mind when reading this reminder this morning. This scripture resonated with me and my heart, and with all that she is currently battling at the moment. After praying for her, I thought I need to text her that verse. Being more rushed than usual this morning, that thought slipped my mind as both kids woke up and momma needed to get to a meeting. A few hours later, I passed her car parked at an office. *Light Bulb ON*- send her the text God reminded me! Without hesitation, I simply sent "Perfect love drives out fear". What she replied back is why I'm blogging about this now.......

I HEAR YA, GOD!!!!!

Something we both needed to hear today, and something He was already speaking to each of us individually! How COOL is our God?!?!?! Don't you have chills?!?

Y'all....when you talk to God, HE TALKS BACK! ALWAYS! You may not notice it if you're not keeping your eyes and ears wide open. It is most all the time very subtle. But these are the moments I live for. These are the times that I can't help by cry out and say THANK YOU JESUS! 

So just because I know you needed to hear this reminder today..........

"Perfect love drives out fear" 1 John 4:18

divine appointment with Jesus,
reagan

seeking our strengths IN CHRIST

strengths.

We were each gifted strengths from God. Do you know what yours are? Are you willing to learn more about each of them? Are you confident in yourself enough to admit them aloud?

Discovering my strengths has always been something of interest to me. It's not something I do enough of, but there have been several specific times in my life that I dove deeper into learning more about myself. No, this is not a selfish thing for you to be doing so go ahead and tell Satan to BACK OFF. Investing in yourself is not only necessary to serving yourself, but you are doing those around you a disservice by not doing so. For example, when I miss a day of training, I am doing a disservice to my family because I tend to be more irritable and sluggish and in turn cannot give them my best self. Making time to get my 'sweat sesh' in has proven to be of utmost importance in my daily life in order to serve all those I do well. You simply cannot serve others to your full potential without also serving and caring for yourself and your daily needs.

Take time to learn about yourself over the next few weeks with me. Follow along with me on this journey, and let's learn how to be better servants by learning about ourselves. We're going to hone our focus on remaining "IN CHRIST" while learning how to better serve and meet the needs of those around us by growing and developing our own personal strengths.

Take a few minutes to list some of your strengths...and GO!

Was that hard for you? Why?

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13

BELIEVE IT, ya'll. Stop. Take a deep breathe. Refocus your attention to our task at hand. BACK OFF SATAN. Now, reread that scripture with confidence.

IN CHRIST, we find our strength. We can confidently dive into our souls and dig out those strengths he's gifted us with because it is HE who choses our gifts, our talents, our strengths. It is CHRIST who "knit me together in my mother's womb". We are EXACTLY THE WAY HE WANTED US TO BE.

Let's praise him today for our strengths.
I pray that we can erase the false words that Satan feeds us to try to convince us we are ungifted and constantly lacking. LIES.

No one else can be used to make a difference in the world the way you can.
Ask, Seek, and Find.

Lord, I pray that you will reveal each of our particular strengths so that we may focus on the positives in our lives. I pray that you will use us to fulfill your glory through our strengths. Jesus move in us and build up confidence that we are lacking. Keep Satan far from us as we seek to know you more and serve ourselves and others using the strengths you created in us.

seeking strengths,
reagan

making prayer a positive habit

fervent prayer.

that is where I am striving to be and where I want to continually seek to learn more.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7

I've been praying my entire life, ever since I can remember at least. I learned my bedtime prayer at a young age and often I still repeat this prayer when my head hits the pillow at night. I have even taught this very prayer to my son as we say night night prayers.

However, I've recently been challenged to PRAY FERVENTLY. (I'd encourage you to read Fervent Prayer by: Pricilla Shirer)
Fervent: intensity of spirit, feeling, enthusiasm (dictionary.com)
PRAY FERVENTLY: Praying with intensity of spirit, feeling, enthusiasm

Imagine that? What visual pops into your head when you imagine what it looks like to PRAY FERVENTLY? Typically, you would visualize a paster you once heard praying out loud with gusto. Maybe, a worship leader you've heard in the past praying over a large crowd. Maybe a motivational speaker you listened too once in your lifetime.

You know what I see???
I visualize what I would LIKE to see happen. I see the future me that God is revealing. I see a calling and challenge to deepen my prayer life.
I picture me in a quiet small setting, on bended knee, head bowed and eyes closed, tears streaming down my face, as I cry out to God.
I see focus. I see practice. I see moments of quiet and still, but also moments of worship and song. I visualize what God wishes my prayer life would look like, what he has in store for my future, what he envisions our relationship to look like as He leads me beside still waters and down straight and narrow paths. I see hope.

I hear ya, God.

A few ways to make prayer a positive habit in your life:

1) Start with simply journaling your prayers. I'm a list-maker so I simply number and bullet my prayers each day. Over the last two months of doing this, I have seen such a positive impact in my prayer life. Taking intentional time in my morning to WRITE DOWN my prayer requests to God. I can visualize what is on my mind, but also I will be able to reflect back months down the road and see just how my prayers unfolded according to God's plan.

2) Pray FOR your spouse. Every day. This is the person you are closest too. Your spouse knows you and desires to know you deeper. YOU MUST PRAY FOR YOUR PERSON. Just do it. You will begin to see a stronger and calmer presence in your spouse as your are praying fervently for him/her.

3) Set a phone reminder to alarm every hour. When your reminder chimes- actually pray! I know life is busy, and who knows where you will be when it alarms. But no matter what you're in the middle of, simply stop for one quick minute and whisper your requests and gratitude to God.

4) You know all those times you are in conversation with someone and they tell you what they are currently battling? In the south, we tend to respond to these instances with "bless your heart, I'm so sorry to hear that, I will be praying for you". I challenge you to not only speak those words, but actually pray. Right there. Right now. Out loud. Through text message, email, phone conversations, in person. Wherever you find yourself. When you hear those words come out of your mouth and written in a text- DO IT NOW! The person on the receiving end of the prayers will be just as shocked and touched as you will be in return for actually doing so.

These are just a few ways to start deepening your prayer life with God. I'd love to hear your "prayer habits"!

And know this with boldness and confidence as you read this statement right now.....
I AM PRAYING FOR YOU! Yes...YOU! This very minute and throughout my day.
YOU are in my prayers. I will not forget you.

fervently praying,
reagan

take heart my friends

Peace

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." John 14:27

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33

From "Fervent" by: Priscilla Shirer
-PEACE = unhindered access back and forth between Him and ourselves
- whatever lack of peace you or I might feel with God and wherever we may feel it, it's always coming from a source that is NOT God because He has already blown down every door that keeps us from experiencing total peace with Him

*Our peace WITH God infuses us with the peace OF God
*It's a gift that keeps us stable and strong even when our circumstances are the furthest thing away from being peaceful

I am clinging to the powerful PEACE that Jesus alone offers to you and to me on a daily basis. TAKE HEART, my friends. Just as Jesus commands us. TAKE HEART today and forevermore.
I needed to be reminded of this today, and I thought maybe some of you did too.

Jesus has overcome this world. Already. Then, Now, and Always.

peacefully rejoicing,
reagan

the only position worthy of praise

The enemy has been throwing some solid bombs my ways the last few weeks. My story is too humorous not to tell you...

It all started with my washing machine making a terribly loud racket noise. You know that "the washing machine is about to grow wings and launch right out of my laundry room" kind of noise. It has done this with most loads for about a week so we decided to call the repairman. On Monday (now three weeks ago), Mr. James came to take a look at my washer. Well my washer/dryer are stacked (and literally built into my laundry room to fit perfectly with very little wiggle room!) and he quickly let me know that he would have to come back later in the day with a second set of hands. Mr. James and Mr. Chris returned that afternoon, unstacked my set, and found 3 different problems that needed to be addressed. They needed to order a part which meant I was out a washer for the week (and my laundry room was a mess).

Thursday-
I was dealt an extremely unfortunate fraudulent IRS call that resulted in 2 hours of fear, worry, and scary situations. Ultimately, it ended with all things clear and no loss, except time, tears, and Camp missing his final swimming lesson and "show". Ew. Yall just pray for these people. They need Jesus so badly.

Friday-
Mr. James and Mr. Chris return with replacement part in hand! They fix my washer and reorganize my laundry back to working manner!! Yay!

Saturday-
Mom is in town to keep the boys while Mike and I host our "Live Iron Sharp Workshop". (So thankful for grandparents!!!) While cooking breakfast that morning, my oven goes bonkers. Beeping noises, temperature gage running from 170-350 degrees, and no hope in it stopping. We flip the breaker and call customer service. After trying what she advised, we schedule a repairman to come look at it- earliest available appointment is Tuesday, when I am supposed to be leaving for a little family vacation to the coast. =(
*Saturday night- I turn the breaker back on to use the microwave for dinner and it seems the oven is working! THANK YOU JESUS!

Sunday- Cooked several freezer meals for the month in my oven! Whew! Cancel that service call.

Monday- Plans change and I decide to follow my mom home to the coast today instead of leaving tomorrow. Packing up and getting ready, when the washer starts to regrow wings again....same racket as before has returned. Call Mr. James back and wait to hear from him. I decide to head to the coast anyways. Mom is following me down 49 heading to the coast, when she calls and tells me she thinks my car is smoking and to pull over at the next gas station for us to check. Sure enough, I pull in and we see a trail of fluid following behind my car. We walk to the front to look under the car and oil is POURING out from under my car. (Mind you I had my oil changed and car checked out the previous week.) Thankfully, a nice gentleman walks up and offers to help. He checks my oil level, makes a few calls, and directs us about 2 minutes up the road to a service and repair shop. Arriving there, we unload two sleeping children and the nice guys begin the process to problem solve what's wrong. Waiting....they find one thing and fix that hoping it will solve the issue....it doesn't. So, we are told we'll have to leave the car for a few hours before they can further explore the cause. We then proceed to unload car seats and a weeks worth of vacation gear into my mom's car before choosing to go ahead and leave my car at the shop and continue to the coast. Keeping this (already) lengthy story short, the entire 2 hour drive remaining I was on the phone with a million people. The end result was positive (THANK YOU JESUS!). Lexus Customer Service ended up paying to tow my car from Mendenhall service shop (Thank you nice guys!!!!) back to Jackson to (prayerfully) fix what we expected to be a recall on a busted oil cooler pump (?). Thankful for all involved in this process!! We made it to the coast safely, just a few hours later than originally expected =)

Tuesday- Called Customer service at 7am to get the ball rolling on my car. Customer service scheduled the wrecker through Triple A to go pick up my car. I received noticed before 8 that they were heading to the repair shop to get my car. Sometime around 9, I missed a call from Nicole at Triple A who was checking to make sure I was pleased with their service. She left a sweet voicemail thanking me for my scripture in my voicemail message. I didn't return her call because all things were clear and I was pleased. She then proceeded to call me back again, two more times (which I missed because I wasn't with my phone). I called her back when I saw this and we talked for a few minutes. She shared with me that she really just wanted to hear my voice and speak to me and tell me about the song "Strong Enough" by Matthew West and what is has meant to her.

I HEAR YA, GOD!
If ALL of this I have been through was for nothing else other than to touch Nicole's life than I thank you and I appreciate all of this. I see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Updating to today, my car is still leaking and my washer remains unfixed....BUT GOD....these are still just THINGS and God is good!
I just can't stress about these minor material things in my life after hearing and praying for all of those in the flood lands of LA and tragic interruptions in the Oxford families lives. I truly woke up today appreciating another possibility to serve my God and LOVE HARD and FIERCELY. Life is precious, and yes, our days are numbered. Thankfully, we serve a mighty God, and I am left in the only position worth of praise- kneeling with my hands raised and crying out to Jesus.

GOD, YOU REIGN.

praying and praising only HIM,
reagan

sister sister

The boys and I have spent a few days on the coast with Birdie and Pops this week. My sis-in-law, Bonnie, and her girls came over from Florida as well. The kids have had quite a big time, despite the steady rain.

Bonnie is one of those women you just can't help but admire. I find myself often asking, "How does she do it?" You see, Bonnie is a SAHM mom of 3 girls (4 year old and 1 1/2 year old twins) and a dedicated wife to my brother who is currently deployed. She is what my family likes to call "Super mom". Day in and day out, Bonnie selflessly gives her up her own life to serve her girls. She is bright, brilliant, and beautiful, and she is raising her girls to be exactly the same.

Yesterday, Bonnie and I had the opportunity to "escape" baby-less for a quick shopping and coffee date. For a momma, this can be both exhilarating and nerve wracking at the same time. We have a hard time leaving our babies, and you never know when we'll get the "rescue us" call. (Birdie and Pops are truly incredible to us and our babies!!!) We had a great time though! Adult-talk and conversations, afternoon Starbucks splurge, shopping (FOR OURSELVES!), and just hanging out!!! All of this happening with two free hands each and the pressure-relief from the "Momma-call".

I just enjoyed being around Bonnie, as we don't often get to do this enough.
Bonnie, thank you for dedicating yourself to your family.
Thank you for loving my brother so hard.
Thank you for bringing these 3 sweet girls into our world.
Thank you for your servant's heart and genuine joy.
Thank you for your positive attitude despite tough circumstances.
Thank you for selflessly devoting your life to be the best momma and wife possible.
Thank you for being YOU!

I love you and cherish our friendship, Bon =)

cheers to super-Bon,
reagan

BUT GOD

"My heart and my flesh may fail, BUT GOD is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Psalm 73:26

BUT GOD....

How often do you find yourself mid-prayer and suddenly you drop the "BUT GOD" bomb?
I caught myself just this morning, while writing my prayers down I even WROTE it for my own two eyes to see. Right there is front of me. Asking, repenting, seeking, searching....BUT GOD.

This phrase can be read into context in two ways:

1) On the defense; defending our actions or requests.
"Lord, I know that you will provide, BUT GOD I am so fearful and worried about ______."

2) Freedom; releasing us from restraints.
I am weak, BUT GOD is strong.
My heart fails me, BUT GOD strengthens it.

Check yourself, friends.

How are you praying?
Are you believing with ALL of your heart and soul that the Lord is leading your life, that He will provide, that He will never leave you or forsake you, that He knows your hurts and struggles and does not dismiss them???

Let us not allow our sinful flesh to control our lives. May we learn to pray with trust and an honest heart towards God, fully knowing that He hears us. He is leading us. He is our strength and our portion no matter the countless times we fail him.

In the words of my momma as she battled cancer and withstood months of chemo and radiation....
God's Got This!!!!

yearning and praying with intent,
reagan

You've been warned, Satan.

FEAR.

Fear is something that absolutely drives Satan. He pushes as hard as he can to instill fear in our lives. To make us feel that we don't add up, we're not good enough, we're inadequate at something. And the sad part it, he usually wins.

It seems that FEAR is such a driving factor in today's world. We're scared of everything! We walk around in a constant state of worry which distinguishes all fires that God has lit in our soul. When we are constantly worried, our fear keeps us from seeing God's plan of action for our life played out. WE MISS THE BIG PICTURE FOR OUR LIVES!

This past weekend my husband and I hosted our second Live Iron Sharp Workshop. Our first workshop was this past January. See the gap there? It had been 7 months since we've reviewed the material, refreshed our memory on topics, studied up on what we wanted to teach. You get the picture. Longer than we'd originally planned, but also longer that we had preferred. Why did we wait so long? I'm not 100% sure, but that's besides the point. In July, Michael said I picked a date for our next workshop and we're going to host it at our gym. Yay! Ok, we can do this!

Michael worked tirelessly on promoting the workshop (truthfully, the best he'd ever promoted something to this point in my opinion). He teamed up with our friend, Rich, to revamp the material and media side of the workshop. They worked for hours of several weeks leading up to the workshop to mold this product into what Michael had envisioned it to look like. Michael is an all or none kind of guy, laser-focused, kingdom driven to glorify God. He knew what he wanted the result of this workshop to be, and he let nothing stand in front of him to accomplish this task.

And, with God, he did it.
I couldn't possibly be more proud of him.
And I couldn't thank the Lord more for a husband who not only listens to God's calling on his life, but FEARLESSLY makes it happen and get's to see the Lord's plan played out.

Speaking of fear, we all feel it at some point, even my bold and kingdom driven husband.

After Michael's first talk at the workshop, we had a short intercession to get up and move around a bit. He walked straight to the back where I was sitting, and he said "I'm just not prepared. I didn't review the power points enough. I'm stumbling through the material. It's not what I wanted."
LIES.
Immediately, Satan was targeting Michael and feeding him lies. He was doing whatever he could possibly do to sway Michael's thinking and confidence in his workshop and in all the tireless effort he put into the material. He was trying to ruin the outcome of what those who were present would gain. He was instilling FEAR in Michael's fearless faith.
BACK OFF SATAN.
I sensed this and immediately dissolved those fears in him. I extinguished the flames that Satan was sparking in Michael. With God's guidance, I reminded Michael these are lies. Rid those thoughts from your mind and remain confident in what you've been preparing for. He knows the material front to back-he wrote it! He's passionate about what he is teaching, and nothing can dissolve those passions in his heart. God has called him to the task of developing and hosting this workshop to serve, teach, love, and guide others on optimizing their lives and not wasting their talents...and he's done just that!
Get off my husband, Satan. Don't mess with this wife! Not today, and not ever.

Michael and I are a team. God created each of us to be exactly what the other needed. Where I am weak, he is strong, and vise versa.
THANK YOU JESUS.

Don't mess with the McElroy's, Satan. You've been warned. We fully plan to serve God where he has called us, and we're going to do this to the best of our abilities.

live fearlessly,
reagan

a few products I'm currently LOVING!

Fri-YAY has ARRIVED!

I am particularly excited for this one... Tomorrow my husband and I will be hosting our first in-house LIVE IRON SHARP WORKSHOP! It's not to late to sign up!!! Join us in learning how to optimize your life and what God has planned for you! 

Today, I want to share with you a few baby products that Everett and I are currently LOVING! 

1) Honest Diaper and Wipes Bundle! provides "honestly safe, effective essentials for family and home". All the way from baby products- diapers, wipes, creams, wash, essentials to household cleaning products and more, Honest has won my heart and love for clean and thought out products for everyday use. They often run specials on diapering and they also offer a free trial pack! The diapers are creative and CUTE, and their philosophy reads, "Safe, effective and honestly adorable. The beneficial-for-baby essentials that bring peace of mind and make diaper duty positively delightful". And better yet, they auto ship your monthly diaper supply to your front doorstep! 

2) Honest Lavender Shampoo and Body Wash- sweet, calming lavender and gently enough to use on both of my sensitive-skin boys! 

3) Honest Face and Body Lotion- also gentle, non-scented, and not too greasy to smear on my sweet baby after bath time.

4) Beautycounter Baby Gentle All Over Wash- Beautycounter strives to get safe, chemical free products for everyday use. My sister-in-law promotes these products and gifted me the Baby Set when E was born. We have LOVED this safe, gentle, non-scented wash during our bath times!

5) Beautycounter Baby Daily Protective Balm- this stuff has been amazing! E has suffered from many moisture rashes mostly around the neckline (thank you, reflux!). This is the ONLY product I have actually seen help improve and heal these sad little rash areas on my boy. 

Check out these awesome products that this gracious momma approves of!

sharing the love,

reagan

every penny counts!

a current obsession of mine I wanted to share with you......

COUPONS!

No, I realize coupons were not just invented. I just never got into "couponing". I have several friends that taught be about couponing and the best way to save money while shopping, but I just never caught on and frankly-it seemed like a lot of work to save a little! Fast forward into SAHM mode and every penny counts, plus it's been fun!

One of my fellow SAHM friends shared a few quick and easy couponing tips with me after Everett was born and I'm addicted! I wanted to share with y'all so you can see just how easy it is as well!

1) IBOTTA: this is an app that offers cash back on items you were already purchasing! (or if you're like me, you decide to purchase since it's an item on the app!) You can browse categories including grocery, pharmacy, and a few clothing and specialty stores. Scroll through and unlock items to your list. After making your purchase, you will simply "verify purchases" by scanning the item barcode and taking a picture of your receipt. From there you will begin to acquire your lifetime savings in Ibotta. When you're ready to "Withdraw Cash", you can either do so to paypal, venmo, or in the form of Gift cards! It's simple and easy to use!
*Download the app and use my referral code aivgddu to receive your $10 sign up bonus!

2) Coupons.com: This is an app or you can visit the website online. I use my app every Sunday while sitting down and meal planning our meals for the week. After making our menu, I scroll through my app and claim the coupons I need! You can clip coupons and either Email or Print them! I print them out and take them with me to grocery shop, and this saves me a few dollars every week! There are great Diaper coupons on here as well (and I know all you momma's could use a few dollars off on these must-have purchases!) The good thing about this app is even though I clipped and print a coupon one week, I can go back in and clip the same coupon to print and use the next week! There are several items I buy weekly and can print off coupons for each week!

3) Cartwheel: This is Target's coupon app. This app informs you of all the weekly deals that they have going on. You can add items to your list. At checkout, you will scan your barcode to receive your rebates!

These are just a few of many "couponing" tips that I've picked up over the last 3 months. Couponing takes a little extra time and preparation, but again, every penny counts!

happy savings!
reagan

windows and doors

her eyes are the windows to her life.

Has there even been a time in your life when a figurative door was slammed in your face??
What about those times when one door after another seems to keep opening??

I like the idea of our eyes being windows. Through our eyes we see the world around us. Our eyes guide us, open dreams, face reality, witness miracles, watch our children grow, reveals hurt and happiness, and on and on. Eyes can "speak" their own language. When I look into someone's eyes, I feel their soul, their hurts, their joys, their love, their loneliness.

Thinking back on times in my life where I was fully invested in the Lord leading my life and my journey. These are always precious moments that boost my faith and bring me back in check. My most recent memory of this was the decision for me to leave my full time beloved career of brain injury nursing in order to come home and raise my children. (Don't get me wrong- this is something I have ALWAYS dreamed of and wanted!) You see, when the time came and availability arose for me, my heartstrings were being tugged in different directions. This wasn't a feeling I ever expected to have. I was confused and questioning why I had these feelings and why I wasn't racing to my kiddos!

This decision was a process for me and my husband. We invested so much prayer and reliance on the Lord to open doors or close them where he would have us. I picked up books from the local Christian bookstore, followed different homemaking blogs, studied scripture pertaining to my children, and I prayed- Lord, if this is your will, give my heart the deepest desire and confident YES that you would have me leave this career and become a worker at home. I was scared, fearful, and questioning my ability to entertain and serve Camp in the same way he received at his daycare. I was worried he would miss his friends and his education would suffer. I was nervous he wouldn't think I'm "fun" enough. I wondered how I would juggle a rambunctious and hyperactive two year old with a newborn.

LIES.
Get back, SATAN!

Satan has a stealthy way of stealing our thoughts and capturing our conscience. He fills our minds with false thoughts and plain ole' gunk. Dirty, filthy, disgusting LIES! He entertains my dreams and twists my clear thinking into selfish desires that are not gospel-focused. Despite all my selfish thoughts of MY workout schedule, MY sleep, MY errand running, MY freedom to make MY schedule....turns out between my selfishness and fear of not being capable enough, Satan was the culprit. THANK YOU JESUS for opening my eyes (my windows!) and revealing this to me!

Our Lord leads, y'all. How many times in scripture does He remind us He will never leave us? How many times does he declare we are to GO? How many times does he tell us to follow Him?

NUMEROUS.

 If a 'door' is slammed, pick yourself back up and turn around. You can thank Jesus later when you realize exactly what better plan He had in store for you instead!

eyes wide open,

reagan