windows and doors

her eyes are the windows to her life.

Has there even been a time in your life when a figurative door was slammed in your face??
What about those times when one door after another seems to keep opening??

I like the idea of our eyes being windows. Through our eyes we see the world around us. Our eyes guide us, open dreams, face reality, witness miracles, watch our children grow, reveals hurt and happiness, and on and on. Eyes can "speak" their own language. When I look into someone's eyes, I feel their soul, their hurts, their joys, their love, their loneliness.

Thinking back on times in my life where I was fully invested in the Lord leading my life and my journey. These are always precious moments that boost my faith and bring me back in check. My most recent memory of this was the decision for me to leave my full time beloved career of brain injury nursing in order to come home and raise my children. (Don't get me wrong- this is something I have ALWAYS dreamed of and wanted!) You see, when the time came and availability arose for me, my heartstrings were being tugged in different directions. This wasn't a feeling I ever expected to have. I was confused and questioning why I had these feelings and why I wasn't racing to my kiddos!

This decision was a process for me and my husband. We invested so much prayer and reliance on the Lord to open doors or close them where he would have us. I picked up books from the local Christian bookstore, followed different homemaking blogs, studied scripture pertaining to my children, and I prayed- Lord, if this is your will, give my heart the deepest desire and confident YES that you would have me leave this career and become a worker at home. I was scared, fearful, and questioning my ability to entertain and serve Camp in the same way he received at his daycare. I was worried he would miss his friends and his education would suffer. I was nervous he wouldn't think I'm "fun" enough. I wondered how I would juggle a rambunctious and hyperactive two year old with a newborn.

LIES.
Get back, SATAN!

Satan has a stealthy way of stealing our thoughts and capturing our conscience. He fills our minds with false thoughts and plain ole' gunk. Dirty, filthy, disgusting LIES! He entertains my dreams and twists my clear thinking into selfish desires that are not gospel-focused. Despite all my selfish thoughts of MY workout schedule, MY sleep, MY errand running, MY freedom to make MY schedule....turns out between my selfishness and fear of not being capable enough, Satan was the culprit. THANK YOU JESUS for opening my eyes (my windows!) and revealing this to me!

Our Lord leads, y'all. How many times in scripture does He remind us He will never leave us? How many times does he declare we are to GO? How many times does he tell us to follow Him?

NUMEROUS.

 If a 'door' is slammed, pick yourself back up and turn around. You can thank Jesus later when you realize exactly what better plan He had in store for you instead!

eyes wide open,

reagan